We're moving again; always moving

I have been wanting to write this post for a while but wasn't sure I was ready to write it. We are moving again. All I ever hear is, "you're moving again" (cue eyeroll) or "you move more than someone in the military". (cue my own eyeroll). So why did we start moving? We have a start to moving, it's true! Back in 2009 Shaun got hurt at work. In 2011 Blake was born. I remember the 4th of July right before his birthday (his bday is the 15th). We were getting ready to test him for EoE in Boise. I was terrified. Sure enough, the following week we had a positive test for EoE with Blake. My entire world crumbled. I thought this was the worst thing that could happen. I remember the dr telling me and Shaun to never let him go on elemental formula because he would never be able to take anything if we go that far, and that it's nasty anyways and we wouldn't want our kid to be taking it. I remember asking about feedingtubes to which this gi told Shaun and I to never ever agree to a feeding tube with Blake. That if we did, he would be dependent on it for the rest of his life....that he would never be able to come off of it. I was terrified. Why would I want my kid to have a feeding tube? ( um hello!!!!) So Shaun and I sat down and prayed about things. At this point, our home was almost in foreclosure. We were trying to short sell it but the bank was causing more issues with our CASH offer than we bargained for. We prayed about things and felt strongly that we should move to Aztec, New Mexico. I didn't really like the gi we had seen in Boise. He was very arrogant and didn't have time for us. I was able to find a gi in Albuquerque that I liked. We had a pediatrician first in Farmington but he didn't know how to treat Blake. I ended up finding a really awesome dr in Durango (45 min from Aztec) who knew what EoE was and knew how to help us. At almost 2, Blake was still losing weight, drastically at some points, and he helped us with formula and specialists. Out of the blue, Payzlee started having weird issues. The seemed to be gi but we couldn't find anything wrong in the belly department with her. We knew that we needed to go a different direction. Just when things started to get really bad with Payz, our gi in Albuquerque up and left. Quit without notice and moved to the south to his dream job. Our pediatrician suggested we look into Denver Children's. We were able to get paperwork, flights, insurance approvals, hotels, tests approved, and everything else we needed very quickly. Within 4 weeks we were sitting in the new gi doctor's office. I knew people who were on the waiting list for 6 or more months when we got in. I felt so blessed. I knew this was a tender mercy from the Lord. We went to a week long of doctor appointments, testing, and therapies. We knew we would be spending a lot of time at this hospital. A week after we got home from this doctor's visit, Shaun went out of town to Greeley. Greeley is about 1.5 hours away from Denver. The company he was with had an opening in Greeley and we decided to ask if Shaun could get transferred. I spent every week 3-5 days out of the week going to the hospital 1.5 hrs away. On any given week we had 10 appointments for Blake and Payzlee. Blake got his feeding tube in Nov of 2014 and 6 weeks later Payzlee got hers. This was so overwhelming to me. It was very hard. Shaun had been laid off from his job and was bouncing around from handy man job to driving job, pretty much anything to help us pay rent and put food on the table. I developed severe anxiety and panic attacks. I was going to every doctors appointment, procedure, and surgery by myself. I would sit in the waiting room and just cry. I wished so deeply that there had been someone to sit with me. I think this is when I became more closed in and really stopped asking for help and refusing any help offered. Our life is too overwhelming for those around us so we have learned to adapt without help. Not in a bad way but we have learned to make things work so that we don't need help other than a sitter now and then. I woke up one day after several middle of the night panic attacks and decided I wasn't staying in Colorado anymore. I needed to be gone. I needed a break from life. Shaun got a job and we moved to Idaho. I found out I was pregnant a week before we moved from Colorado. I was so sick. I had to ask friends to come help me pack because I couldn't stop throwing up. We moved in with my parents while we figured everything out. I need a break. I developed severe panic attacks and anxiety during my pregnancy. I was put on meds but it didn't really help. It got to the point where Shaun and I were trying to figure out our future. Shaun wanted to go to NDT school but we had no way of paying for it. It was going to cost us 10,000 to do school and with our crappy credit, we couldn't get a loan. He would also have to be at the school for quite a while which we couldn't afford since it was unpaid. We tossed around so many things and after much prayer decided to move to Georgia. Shaun was trying to get into an NDT school here that was local. Shortly after moving here, Shaun learned that the school decided to close and no longer accept students. We were devastated. Why were we here? School that's why. So what's next? Shaun started looking in to other options of NDT schools, and found a school that had changed a ton of their policies and procedures. They decided to let you pay $2,000 to get in vs $10,000 and the decided to change the hands on training from 6 weeks to 3 weeks, and you could now pay monthly payments for school. This was not at all like it had been even 6 months before. Shaun decided this online school was the one he wanted to go to. So now we just had to come up with $2,000. We prayed and prayed and talked with everyone we could to figure out a way to get the money to get into this school. We were at church when our bishop asked Shaun about work and school. Shaun told him what he had found out and what he wanted to do but didn't know how to. Our bishop told Shaun to call someone from the Stake and speak with him. There was a program to help those who wanted to go to school. You had to qualify for it, but They would pay up to $3,000 towards school. So Shaun started looking into this program and talking with this guy weekly. We were able to qualify for this program and they paid the fee for Shaun to get into school. We have had so many tender mercies while living here in Georgia. But I hate it here. I miss Idaho and I miss my friends and family. I have weekly migraines. I'm so tired of them. My depression, anxiety, and panic attacks have worsened living here. Shaun will be done with school in December and is guaranteed a job after graduation. The type of job he is looking at isn't local. It's a job where you can live where you want and he will work where they want. Yes it's out of town but the type of schedule will work perfect for our family. So we started talking about where we wanted to be and where we should go. Both of us missed the Burley area. We made a prayerful decision to move back to the Burley area to settle down. This. is. scary. We are literally taking a leap for everything. Just when we seem to start losing hope, we get a small tender mercy and know that what we are doing and where we are going is the right decision. So, why do we move often? Do you see a pattern? Had we not moved to New Mexico, we never would have found the pediatrician we did that suggested Denver as the place we should be, and who put a call in to his friend that was the gi down there that we saw. Had we not been transferred to Denver, we never would have gotten the medical help that both kids needed. Had I not made the decision to take a year break, I don't think my pregnancy with Axel would have ended well. Had we not moved to Georgia Shaun never would have gotten into school. There are soooo many reasons why people move often and keep moving. Did we want to move a lot? Absolutely NOT. But we have and our family has grown and been strengthened with each move. So folks, we are moving to the Burley area in which we will move only 1 other time and that's to move into a house that we will buy eventually!!